Confidence, what is it? And how can we develop more and use it when we need to.
Without referring to reams of scientific and psychological background theory, most people know what it feels like to be confident in any given situation. One misconception I have found people have is the difference between self-inner confidence and ability confidence and their difference
Inner Self Confidence
Inner Self Confidence is linked to self-esteem and what you think and the feelings you have about yourself. The self-talk you have within your mind about who you are and what you can do in the world. Developed early in life, the first three years, this programming can affect the rest of your life.
Ability Confidence
Ability confidence is developed through practice (your action and behaviour) in any particular skill or endeavour. While your inner self-confidence will affect your ability confidence, For example, having the mindset and self-belief to begin a new practice, sport, course, ability confidence is developed through training.
A person could be socially inept with no social skills or many friends, but they can beat anyone online in their favourite computer game that they have mastered. In one situation they are nervous, anxious and shy. In the other, they are the king of the world.
The Brain, Neurology and Confidence
Everyone either knows someone who is confident or have had positive moments at some point in their life. These moments of positive emotion are utilised by a process called anchoring or association. The brain operates on association from the earliest age and associates things in groups so we can learn everything from how to speak, walk, laugh, play games, learn who people are and their names.
If I played a song from 5 years ago that you loved, you would have feelings and thoughts ‘mental images’ in your mind of that time and what was happening in your life. Through guided relaxation, an NLP practitioner can take you back to the confident experience and then anchor those feelings physically; pressing your index finger and thumb together, auditory, saying a specific word to yourself, or even looking and a visual image. A combination of perceptions is usually used.
Once this process is complete, the client can access the anchored resourceful state just by activating the anchor. I.e. pressing the index finger and thumb, repeating the positive phrase to themselves. The purpose is to fire the anchor in situations you want to feel more confident. Over time and rather quickly you can feel and access more resourceful states where you couldn’t before
The purpose is to fire the anchor in situations you want to feel more confident. Over time and rather quickly you can feel and access more resourceful states where you couldn’t before. It could be social situations, job interviews, career and relationships. Anchoring can also be done for other emotional states such as motivation or relaxation.
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